Breaking News

Good evening and tonights main headline:
Today is a dark day for humanity as the ongoing negotations between allied and ant forces broke down and open hostilities commenced in ernest. After several days of open negotiations and non violent restrictions the heat in the region has finally reched boiling point (especially becuse the radiator is on). At approximatly 1300 hours local time a large enemy troop formation was detected in the region surrounding the windowsill, an allied response was immediate with a areial chemical strike (lynx deoderant) however the strike acheived only mild effects with a dispertion of the formation and limited retreat, physical force was also uneffective and by 1400 the area was firmly under ant control, since that time ant scout and skirmishing parties have been spotted in the desk and carpet areas and there are rumours that also in the bed region, this is confirmed by the allied's increased readiness to evacuate this area should it become overrun. This offensive has caught the allies at bad time with local chemical weapons stocks at a minimum, however action has been taken to remove all forage from the carpet area and the bin has been relocated. It is unknown what this offensive is in aid off although negotiations had been stalemated, an allied response at this time would seem to be inadvisable especially with the exact enemy numbers and locations unknown due to their prevalent use of guerrilla tunnels. Experts are already saying that this could well be another vietnam.
In other news; scientists have warned that a weekend study indicates a combination of guiness, kronenberg, hoegarden and carling followed by red wine can lead to the formation of severe hangovers, also side effects of loud discussions on precognition, attempting to set up an illuminati and sending stupid text messages were observed.
On the lighter side of the news: Two atoms accidently walked in to each other in the street, the first one said "sorry about that mate, are you all right?", the other replies "no i've gone and lost an electron", First atom: "are you sure" , Second atom: " Yes, I'm positive".
Finally in todays poll run by blog24/7 asks "is Andy reading to much into the claim that blogs will be the way we receive news in the future?", initial results are; Yes: 2%, No: 2% and Who's Andy: 96%